When the funeral is over, you’ll find we have only just begun to care.
In addition to the many support groups and events for children and adults, and opportunities for individual counseling through Conley Outreach, our family extends a monthly care letter to you. Written by professionals and grievers alike, My Care Letter shares with you stories and practical steps on how to get through the first year after a loss. We also send you personal notes close to the “special days” like birthdays and anniversaries, to let you know that your family is still in the thoughts and prayers of our family.
Executor Support Program (ESP)
Places to go. People to see. Things to do. When you must suddenly be the executor of a loved one’s estate, the list of responsibilities can be overwhelming. That is why we created the Executor Support Program. We may not know what you are thinking, but experience gives us a pretty good idea of what you need to do. Shortly after the funeral, we will introduce you to a very useful planner to help organize yourself. Our ESP Director will see to it that Social Security is notified and all applications for veterans and insurance benefits are completed. In addition, we can help you create and order any type of monument or cemetery marker, and we keep a database of “people, places, and things” to help you with dozens of other tasks.
Specialists in bereavement counseling since 1983, Conley Outreach offers connections to individual and family counseling for adults and children. “The Family Circle,” a free service of Conley Outreach, helps families take stock of their needs and take charge of their lives by learning to take charge of their grief. Individual therapy is available on a moderately sliding scale, and members of any family are always welcome to ask questions or express concerns to the family of therapists at Conley Outreach at any time.
The Little Extras
Often, when we experience a death, it is hard to feel, act, and think of everything at the same time. That is where we come in. We take detailed notes and think things through with you and your family in mind.
Practical things like:
- Ways to keep track of people who bring food, send flowers, etc.
- Set up and take down displays of photos and memorabilia, so our “home” is more like your “home”
- Create a banner that hangs outside of the entrance with your loved one’s name
- Incorporate unique outdoor displays of autos, tractors, motorcycles, trucks and more
- Provide live music, or help you share special music with those who visit
- Help with bereavement fares and accommodations for traveling family members
- A detailed summary of what we are doing, not just what it costs
- Delivering flowers where they can be appreciated after the funeral
- Thoughtful procession parking
- Car washing arrangements
- Warming or cooling your vehicle to a comfortable temperature, so it is ready for you after the funeral
- Procession arrangements past family lands and special places
- Transmitting the committal service to handicapped friends or relatives at the cemetery
Personal Things Like:
- Someone always at our door to welcome every friend that comes, and thanks them when they leave
- A time, place and a person to help children and parents face grief together
- Remembrance Teddy Bears For Grandchildren (in conjunction with the Elburn Lions Club)
- Special helpful instructions for pallbearers
- Time to be alone with your thoughts and feelings
- Time to think things through and to do what you need to do
- Concrete suggestions, compassionate compromises, complete responsibility
For nearly 40 years, Conley Funeral Home has worked to help grieving families by providing bereavement themed pamphlets, newsletters, and booklets. They were written and published here, starting with Thum Printing, Conley Publications, and now Conley Bereavement Services. Today, as in the beginning, we are committed to providing comfort and encouragement through the written word. Our pamphlets and booklets are still written by us and printed by us. We hope that you will find the help and encouragement you need in the pages of these publications as you travel through your “seasons of grief.”
We offer an assortment of grief-related folders, including excellent help for children and teenagers.
“Help when your dreams are shattered, and your heart is broken.”
As perplexing and confusing as your grief may be, please understand that each member of your family is feeling overwhelmed. But, everyone grieves in a different way—there is no right or wrong way. Babe of Mine was written to help you through one of life’s most painful losses—the death of a baby.
“As ‘reason’ failed to convince a friend or a loved one that life was worth living, it then fails as well, to explain to us why a tragic death has happened. Why him or her? Why now? Why this way?”
Whether death is clearly due to suicide or seemingly the accidental result of some life-threatening behavior, it leaves an endless trail of questions that beg for answers. Though there will still be unanswered questions, here are some suggestions on how to get through your own grief or help someone else who has experienced such a loss.
“Christmas is not the only holiday.”
Handling the Holidays was written to help you find your way through all of life’s holidays and special days. When someone you love dies, whether suddenly or after a long illness, it hurts and the days and weeks that follow are forever different. The booklet includes many stories, poems, and helpful coping ideas. It also includes the Holiday Planner and other helpful thoughts about grief during the holidays, and those special days known only by you.
“Any child who is old enough to love is old enough to grieve when someone dies.”
Written for parents, or any adult who is trying to help a young child through a grief experience. When you consider the effects of grief on children, remember first that grief, like death, has no respect for age. Children learn to grieve as they learn to love, one step at a time.
“My heart cannot believe what my mind tells me is true. I never thought this day could come. The news just can’t be true!”
Teenagers have countless feelings when confronted with loss, whether expected or tragic. This pamphlet is written just for them to help them use the right coping skills, to encourage them to talk to each other and to the adults in their lives. It also encourages them to “stay safe” as they find their way on grief’s journey; to stay in touch.
“I want to talk about it. I want to get it out. I don’t want to keep it all bottled up inside anymore.”
This folder is devoted to helping adults who want to help young people grapple with their grief. The inability to communicate is a common problem parents report when children grieve. “Being there” and non-judgmental listening is an important part of establishing good communication.
“In a moment, all of our tomorrows disappeared into today. In a moment, all our life’s pictures were torn apart and thrown away.”
Sudden death is a different kind of grief that leaves us numb, angry, lost, and alone. This pamphlet contains help and hope for this devastating grief with the following sections:
- “First feelings”
- “Who has the right to grieve?”
- “Caring for each other”
- “What to say/What to do”
- “Memories: The Good & The Bad”
“When someone dies, you may have many different feelings and questions. This pamphlet cannot explain or answer all of them, but it can help you to understand some of the things that happen When Someone Dies.”
A pamphlet for young people, ages fourth grade and up depending on their reading level. In this pamphlet, children can hopefully find some of the answers they have about death, funerals, and grief. It may also help open up some family discussions about feelings.
“You come, friend, with your hand outstretched in love to help me stand. Your caring gives me comfort and strength to know I can.”
Have you ever wondered what you could do to help a grieving friend or family member? This little pamphlet offers you some ideas about how to offer comfort and support both in action and in word.